Let loose.

Why does sorrow occur?
How can sorrow be cured?
Is there any cure at all?
Which part of me is breaking?
Who can help me through this?
Who can fix me?
Where can I let loose of all this sorrow?

I've been crying everyday.
I've been hurting the wall everyday.
I'm in hell of pain.

I'm turning back, to the old me.
The emotional freak.
Depression that strikes everyday.
That kills me within day by day.


Just because,
Mas

Hazzique. My stranger.

Hey Stranger !
Go and come back. (;
Remember the song you gave me?
I promise you, from Frankie J. (:
Keep that promise, I will too.
This I promise you, I will be there.
and you made me a really tense and sad video but yet amazing.
Saying goodbye, Deborah Cox.
Since I knew that song, and got it from you,
I think I listened to it for atleast 600 times since May.

Hey, we've got a lot of memories since 7th of April.
I know the most about him in 3 days since the 7th.
I know the most thing about him here. Besides Sabah.
Hell yeah, he told me most.

We had our first outing after we knew each other after 3 days.
I call that, naturally true close friends.
And yes, loads of them. I can't list them out as it'll take days.
Yeah, he made me cry a few times. We argue sometimes.
Well, thats typical. But he made me smile and laugh most, too.

Cause eventually summertime turns to fall.
We grow up and we grow apart.
But I keep the memory here inside my heart.
Goodbye to the age of innocent.
I hate that it has to end.
It was fun while we lasted.
But we will never see these days again.
Goodbye is the hardest.
Thing to say out loud.
Hopefully in the future,
Maybe I'll see you around.

- Claude Kelly - Maybe I'll see you around. -
Yeah , we both are fans of him. (:

I'll miss you Hazzique.
Feel my love and affections towards you. aha
I love you, Ziq.

Come back and let's go out.
Text and call to update each other about our life.
In a year, you'll be 18. (x
So, yeah.He is Hazzique, My stranger.
Who shares this blog with me.

Just because,
Mas

struggle.

Hope goes down,  knees on the ground
rain pouring, thunder sounds
wonder how, wonder why
turn to god, still i cry
dry my eyes, then defy
what call lies what call life
it seems by now, myself realise
no more luck, still i try
feel depressed, rethink and sigh
bad day, no one knows
feel invisible, no one cares.
got answers, bump into problems
never look for trouble, trouble finds me
good at math, never solve them
please help me, im about to burst
need fresh air, living a nightmare.
sin too strong, sing through songs
heart might tear, soul might rip.
gotta hold on, losing my grip
take one smoke, take one sip.
theres no hope, clock still tick.
maybe faithless
but if youre in my shoes,
im positive you'll hate it
alone i stand, everything tense
doesnt make sense, only cents.

just because,
me

struggle life reedit.

Ruin / You just don't get it.

My life is amazing. But sorrows fill them too. When problems occur, my life is partly ruined. Its like a tornado stroke a city. My mind is totally packed. I'm listening to everybody's shouting. But why can't I hear my own heart screaming as if theres a hole? This is pain. That gain. I'm becoming insane. I thought I'm just another girl who lives on earth. But I realized, I'm no ordinary human. I went through loads of love challenges. Loads of life challenges. And yet, I'm still alive. 

People attempt to ruin my life. They get excited in breaking me. They just can't leave me alone. I wish, they could just understand. But they couldn't. I know, it sounds absurd. I guess I'm too different and they can't just split. Some of them wants to help, but they don't know how to keep me in one soul. Their words could go right through me. Their thoughts make me feel guilty. Now, I know, its not my fault. Its theirs. They can't tell how much they're making me collapse. They have no idea how this is killing me within. I give up making them understand. As they will never do. My life story, is twisted at the very moment. Please, I had enough. Stop it.

I want you to figure it out. In any way. I can't tell you. You need to prove how much you care. Did you try understanding how much you're hurting me just by saying that? No, you didn't. I just want you to try to figure me out. But you couldn't. You don't want to. When I break, you break me more by doing the same bloody reason why I broke at the first place. I'm trying to make it obvious as it can. Other people can figure it out. Why can't you? This is painful. I'm wondering if our bond is loosened. Cause it seems like it is. We're breaking apart. Can't you see it? Maybe you should try. Maybe I should try. Forget it. You said it. You don't want to go through your goddamn effort to find out. I was writing this, when you said it. So yes, it stabbed me like a knife. I don't know if you want this to be over. I know I don't. I showed you, how I feel without saying a word. Its like, I slammed the door, but it couldn't make a sound. The way that I feel tonight, is like you and me equals to the ocean and the sky. I'm wondering, would this even happen if you hadn't choose me. Don't hate me now. Shout and scream at me. I would smile if thats the only way to talk to you. I don't want to say goodbye. Even saying we're over haven't crossed my mind. Except for now. I'm invincible, yeah its true. Are we broken? Can't we work this out? 

I'm sorry, but I thought you knew, how I am. Yes, I'm sensitive. Yes, I'm fragile. Yes, I'm a realist. And yes, I am who I am. This will happen a lot, you know it. You're pretending like you don't. Come on, somebody like me, don't stay happy for more than a week. Yes, I understand. I seriously do. But do you think when I say, I understand, what you're doing isn't affecting me? Yes, it is. Quite a lot actually/ Why can't you see? You said you fell for my personality. But do you know what is it? You're pretending like you don't. Maybe you seriously do not. I'm not telling you the reason. You don't give a fuck. What can I do? Nothing. I could just cry and suffer in this broken heart. I need help in mending this broken heart. Not making it worst. Yes, I'm already insane. So do what you have to do. Say what you have to say. I'm ready to face whatever your decision is. I'm ready to get crushed all over again. Go ahead. I'm ready. No, I'll just face the most terrible history in my life. I don't want that. But we both know, one day, it maybe will. You just don't get it. I'm sorry. I'm suffering through this shit everyday. I can't pretend and act that good anymore. I have this permanent scar. And you, your name is tattoed to my heart. So why scratch it out slowly? Its painful. It hurts. Too much.

I do, I love you. And its true. Why is this happening? It happens for a reason. I bruise easily. I break easily. Remember that. So, Please.

Just because,

Mas