Kapir. I had enough of them. (:

" When something fashionable gets popular and everybody is wearing it, ditch it. Do not follow trends. "
♥


Just because,
Mas

Yap.

Siaaa.
I'm unofficially, engaged.
Again. Aha (:

Muhammad Ezraf.
We met about 6 years ago. When we were 10.
At bowling. We weren't really close back then.
& he's closer to my sister than me?
Aha, maybe. Well, like 3 to 6 years ago.
About 2 years ago or so, my family went to his open house.
What I remember? I slept on his couch while he plays Play Station 2 with my sister. (x
We lost contact for 2 years. Right before we enter secondary school.

Then, he added me on facebook. & the only mutual friend of Aidil.
So I thought, this might just be another friend of his.
But when I look at the picture, I went like " Damn, he looks like this guy I used to know. "
Well, I didn't want to make sure cause his name is totally different on facebook.
After awhile, I found out he was the guy I thought he is.
Then we talked and chatted, till now. He's totally different now.
Taller too. But not yet, as tall as me. Maybe yet, maybe not. We don't know. (:
I hope he will be. He knows why.
♥


Just because,
Mas

Bestie.

There you go. One of the pictures taken on the 13th. (:

Meet Hazzique, my best friend.

We have alot of " one day " 's to do.

Some are accomplished. 

He's 16. I'm 14.

We can still understand each other, you see.

Just because,

Mas

Wait.

I think, I will be waiting. Till whenever.

Just because,
Mas

Its been awhile since we met, so I don't know.
Maybe I am falling. But its too soon, to fall in love again.
But I am. I'm just not sure.

Just because,
Mas.

13th of december, 2010. A day to remember.

Its not a new beginning.

Its not another ending. Its just a new beginning.

I'm turning over a new leaf. I just want a happy life. 

A life that isn't full of,

depression and pain.

Another guy might, steal my heart again.

But, I better be careful, the next time.

Why? Because I had enough.

Just because,

Mas

Its all about growing up.

while i grow up,
help never show up.
i learned to show no pain,
in the end i get fed up.
i learned to hold them up,
socialize with pain and trust.
now can you pretend,
the world is alright.
half of us are warm
others sleep through cold night
half of us in darkness,
while half in sunlight
the only thing  in common is,
we all fight.

i love you, no i dont.
at least i used to, you aint showing.
it feels so wrong, but I feel so right.
i know you're gone, now so am i.
its time i choose,
our Love's a Lie

here's my lesson,
life is lethal.
why i help others,
when they never helping me?
i got problems hard to solve,
but i got myself on my feet.
learned life aint fair,
asking why i dont cheat?
but i believe while its bleeding,
i sweep it off my feet.

this is how i grow up
dropped with all the stress
stacking and compress
14 year old depress
scars all over my chest
heart torn out this mess

just because,
anonymous.

Goodbye to another relationship.

I'm sorry I had to do it.
I didn't want to.
Its for the best. We both know it.
I still love you no matter what. As a best friend.
I love you Dad. Andrew.

Just because,
Mas

5 days, GO FASTER.

Have a safe trip.

Put all the blame on me.

Don't worry. Its not like I have any feelings.

If you can even remember,

I was the pessimist, the one who people call emotional, the one who's always depressed.

Not you.

Pain is in my blood.

& I'm proud of it. It makes me live in reality.

I don't use depression as a reason for me to suicide.

You want to do it not because of anyone else.

Its because of you, yourself.

I tried stopping arguements and shit.

But you keep going on and on and on.

Why do I look like I don't care?

Because you lost faith in me.

If you still trust me,

you will automatically that I do care.

No trust, No love. Baby thats how it goes.

Relationships, is not the main reason I'm depressed.

Its a small part of it.

Maybe, you just don't remember.

Or you don't care.

Thanks for loving me and trusting me before.

I realized that was in the past category.

So please, don't let me live in a lie.

I know you'll be reading this.

You might get pissed.

but really, I don't care if you do.

Because atleast I'm honest enough to tell you all of these.

& you, you never stopped accusing me.

Thank you for that. It'll help me in the future.

Goodbye. 

No doubt. I'm going to miss you guys.

30th.

I had a really nice day.
30th of November 2010.
My uniform is full with signatures & messages.
It was really sweet. & in many languages too.
I've got 2 " love " letters from Rayan. & one present.
I wanted to cry reading the letters. It was breathtaking.
Which is an elastic capo. He knew I broke mine.
I mean, Hazzique broke mine. Aha.

After school,
I went to Lydia's. Then to Darren's.
Played PS3 and Wii. Well, its been awhile since I played them,
so technically, I sucked.
Then I went to watch TV with Darren.
Watched House, where we don't even get whats the main story.
& the words are like, so scientific. Darren and I were soo clueless. Aha.
After that, I walked with Andrew to his house. It was a long walk, again.
I was soo lazy. But anyways, I went to Andrew's and onlined.
& then, played his xBox. The game was Fable 2.
& I killed Andrew's wife. Well, it was Brandon's but Andrew was playing it so, yeah.
After that, I had to go home. Andrew and I walked to meet Lydia next.
On the way, we met Andrew's mom & Edward.
So, after that, we three walked to Lydia's. Then Andrew went home.
Then Lydia & I got a ride from her sister to the clubhouse.
My brother picked me up over there.

In the car, Abang was like singing so gay-ly with me.
But I wasn't acting gay. He was.
With his buff-ness & all, acting gay is ... EWW.
Then, we make words out of plate numbers, again.
We never get bored of that.
The lamest one was, WHK.
Abang was like " WONDERFUL HONG KONG."
I just glared at him.
For me, was BHH. Which Big, Hairy & Hot.
Abang was like, WHAT THE SHIT ITS ALREADY BIG & HAIRY BUT ITS HOT?
ahahaha.
At home, hm.
At night, we danced. My sister & I choreographed some steps.
Then, Abang joined.
But it was the song, Sexy Bitch. When he came in.
So technically, Mimi danced her own style but Abang & I shuffled and liquid with turns and all.
As, he taught me how to shuffle.
So yeah, it was a really funny and awesome day. (:

I love 30th of November 2010.

Just because,
Mas

3 days.

It was a kind of torture,

for a good cause.

My mom,

massaged my shoulder and tried to put it back in place.

But it hurts so much. I screamed and almost shed a tear.

Well, its something I have to cope with anyways.

Its life. 

Stuffs happen.

School, here I come.

Tomorrow. Unfortunately.

I'm not allowed to skip, anymore.

As its only, 3 days left.

Till Tenby school life, ends for me.

;

Don't make this harder for me.

Just please set me free.

Its better for me to leave.

As its my life thou', for me to live.

I love you people.

Like, seriously.

But, face it. Its reality.

You were threatening me.

But you were joking, ofcourse.

Still, I know you mean it.

You, my fergalicous friends. (;

Brandon made that up btw. Aha.

Okay, back to it.

You, are like the screen to my camera.

Without you, I won't work.

I love you. You know you are.

* Plural *

Just because,

Mas

Dislocated.

I fell going " up " the stairs.
& dislocated my shoulder.
Waseh.
Yes, it hurts so badly.
But at least,
its better than getting hurt emotionally.

I have been skipping school for 4 days last week.
Its going to be 4 days this week too.
I'll be going on Monday & Tuesday.
Last two days in Tenby.
Heck yeah, I'm happy.
I'll be in Sedaya, next year.
Maybe for only, one year.

Okay, skip to the lines.

Maybe, just maybe,
I'm not going to stay.
But, really,
I'll be there. At least, as a good friend.
You will maybe,
know at that time,
that I'm better that way for you.
We have lives. We can't keep hurting it.
Its better for us finding somebody who matches us. One day.
One day.
This is killing me in every way.
You take me in. You shut me up.
& I keep breaking. You keep hurting.
Cause baby, think about it.
My heart is now steel. Cause my real one broke into pieces.
You're hurting. Its cracking.
Thats how much it hurts.
& mark my words. Its steel. & its cracking.


; Chuck Norris didn't wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

owh, and honey.
I can fake smile when I'm crying, easily.

Just because,

Mas

That is so familiar.

Oh yeah, its my line.

You're such a desperate & fucked up bastard. After what we've done for you, this is how you repay us. I wish, you burn in hell.

& I thought you're a nice guy.
But I was wrong.


Just because,
Mas

To you.

Hey you.
Don't make the same mistake.
You'll regret.
& regretting just,
let you learn your lesson.
But it,
doesn't turn back time.

Just because,
Mas

TELL ME ITS NOT OVER.

I just want to crawl into my bed.

You're breaking my heart, You're breaking my heart.

Don't tell me that we will never be together, over again.

Just because,

Mas

I'll be crazy.

I realize my love for you is strong.

I'll be waiting here by the phone.

With the pictures in front of me.

As I'll be gone, in 3 weeks.

Don't worry,

I'll be thinking about you everyday.

Just because,

Mas

Tears on a broken pavement.

Shauna, a pretty and talented girl. Caring too. 

 Jake, a high school footballer. Everyone's favourite.

So the story begins,

Everyone, in Tilk High School, thinks that Shauna and Jake are dating just like other high schoolers that have been dating for 11 months. No love, no eye contact and just wanting sex. As usual, they meet up with each other after class and walk side by side. 

Well, eventhough they're dating, everybody assumed that they aren't in love with each other. They're just dating because they want popularity, and respect, like other high school's relationship.

Shauna and Jake never made out. Just a kiss on each other's cheek before going home. 

To be honest, Jake is in love with Shauna. He thinks, she's different from other girls. Other girls usually date him to get some action. But not Shauna. They took time, just to know each other, well. But he didn't know, if Shauna is in love with him.

Jake told himself, one day, I'm going to ask her to marry me. I know, she's the one for me. She's imperfect but a perfection in my eyes, and heart. Atlast, Jake made a move. He kissed Shauna. A real kiss, on the lips, just before going home.

At Jake's home, he sat on his swing right next to red beautiful roses. He thinks and talks to himself, that was the most sincere kiss I've ever had, in my whole life. I'm truly madly deeply in love with Shauna.

From that moment, he has been thinking when and where he should propose to her.

The day he wanted to propose to her,

Jake was bringing Shauna to an Italian restaurant. He parked the car across the street.

Jake and Shauna, held hands while walking to the restaurant.

But then, Jake lied to Shauna, that he left his wallet in the car. When the truth is, he left the ring in the car. Shauna watched him going back to the car.

So, he locked his car and waited to cross. The light turned red, so he started walking.

In a flash, Shauna ran to him and pushed him hard to the roadside.

Shauna was hit by a truck.

Jake, was safe.

Shauna died, Jake survived. After a few hours,

a policeman approached Jake, bringing a piece of paper.

Jake was already crying by then.

On the cover of the paper says, 

; To do list with Jake.

Inside is,

- do not screw up the date with Jake.

- tell him you're in love with him.

- Hug him from behind and say I love you.

- Kiss him.

- tell him that you want to spend your lifetime with him, till death tears you apart.

Jake, was broken. If only, I asked her to marry me earlier.

She saved me, from my own death.

& now, she's dead.

Owh btw, the day he wanted to proposed to Shauna

was

their one year anniversary.

Written by,

Mas Syuhaidah Rosli.

Help from,

Lydia & Andrew.

It's reality you have to face, It's reality you have to race.

Yvonne, a beautiful girl.

John, a good - looking and kind boy.

So the story begins,

Yvonne was the most beautiful girl in Neet Primary School. She had, this crush on a guy. The guy, was John. She don't know if John likes her. But she thought, he does. Yvonne was so ecstatic thinking that John likes her as much as she likes him.

John, looks straight to her eyes while talking to her. He helps her with her problems at home. He hugs her when she cries. He helps her carry her books.  He's the first one to notice when she's upset. Always, the first. John walks Yvonne home and say goodbye beautiful, before she enters the house.

Every december, there's this annual school concert. But this time, its before they enter secondary school.

Yvonne told John, that she's going to dedicate a song she wrote for him.

John told her, he was going to do that too.

After one week, one day before the performance,

John walks Yvonne home, as usual. But this time, John looked at her in a different way.

Yvonne thought that, thats the look, when you're in love.

She thought about it, smiling. The whole time.

When the annual concert comes, she walks on the stage towards the piano.

Before she sings, she announced ;

This song, is for John Avery.

Enjoy.

The chorus of the song is,

" You're the one I want.

The one I love.

I don't think you're the one for me,

I know you are.

I love you eventhough you are far. "

Before the concert ends, John turn was up.

Before he sings, he announced ;

This song is for Yvonne Kin.

I'm sorry.

The chorus of his song is,

" I'm sorry but you're not the one.

There's a girl out there, I'm waiting to stare.

But, you're not her. I'm sorry.

I love you, but you're not her.

Its reality I have to face, Its reality you have to race. "

Yvonne ran out of the hall, and started crying.

She ran away, and left the school.

After everything was over,

John whispered to himself and prayed at home,

" Yvonne, I'm sorry. But I lied. I don't mean what I said in the song.

 Its that, I'm dying. I'm suffering from a heart disease. Its a family generation disease. & lying, is the only way to

make you not worry, and forget about me. "

After a week, John died from cardiac arrest.

John's mom told Yvonne everything.

She was depressed like there's no tomorrow.

& yes there was no tomorrow for her,

she committed suicide.

Written by,

Mas Syuhaidah Rosli.

Just like you, I get lonely too.

Back off.

I'm going through that road.

Its my final decision 

'cause, I've got the ticket.

I'm just waiting for the right time.

Don't try to stop me.

It'll never work.

This is everything I've always wanted.

This is what I worked hard for.

So back off.

Smiling is easy.

Sincerely ain't.

Hoping for something to happen is easy.

Losing hope is easier.

A friend is easy to find.

A best friend ain't.

Words can be said.

But whats the point if they don't mean it?

Owh yeah,

as you can read from my descriptions up there,

Never trust anybody more than yourself.

Kaynowthatsitbye.

Just because, 

Mas

Strike.

Strike a pose. But we both know, you can't strike it like me. & we both know, you're not me. So, go on talk your shit with people. You're only making me famous.

Pride.

I'M PROUD TO SAY I'M A MANCHESTER UNITED FREAK.

Its coming my way.

I play. I scream.
Scratching heads. Blinking eyes.
Yeah, thats my signature. Totally, the opposite of me.
But what the hell. Its my choice, my life, my rights.

& change is coming my way. But I still feel the same.

Secondhand Serenade, the band I keep listening to.
Yeah, I love them. Because best, describes them.
Emotions, Life, all their songs are about it.
All about life. I never, never get tired of them.
Really. Seriously. Deeply.

Just because,
Mas

I miss you guys. Alot.

I met both of them a few years ago.
I started playing bowling when I was 10.
Which is 5 years ago.
I met them since then.
We were in training together.
And believe me, they're awesome like that.

One world. Three hearts.
We broke apart but got back into one cart.

Ahmad Aidil + Siti Nurzulaika.
One is 14. The other's 12.
Yeah, I love them. They, accept me for who I am.
Back off. They're mine.
♥


Just because,
Mas

Check.

The rain is your part time emotion.

&& the best thing you could do when its raining, is to let it rain.

Let's have a reality check, shall we?
We have our own Lives. Personalities. Love. Mind. Heart.
As summertime turns to fall, we grow up and we grow apart.
We change. Every single year. But sometimes, something, wouldn't change at all.
Originality is my role. Hey, I mean it. What do I mean by that? I'm following what I'm destined to be.

We sometimes fantasize the reality. What does fantasy gives you in the end anyways?
Pain. Pain. Inside and Out.
Don't joke around like forever exist when you know it does not.
Believe me, you'll accidentally put in too much hope and then, Boom.
You get pain. Again. Don't stop, it'll gain.
 Even though, you did not put in too much hope, you'll get hurt anyways.
What happens if you did? You're just murdering yourself slowly.

And by the way,
Why bother about the future? 
We don't even know when we're going to die anyways.
Because you see, nobody knows when they're going to die. Who knows tomorrow's yesterday could be the last day for you? Nobody. Only God knows. & You're not God.


Just because,
Mas.

sacrifices.

Do you believe, in sacrifices?
Do you believe the people who says, they would sacrifice for you?

I believe in it. But I don't believe the people who said they would. Only believe them, when they sacrificed for you. When its obvious. When its real. Because you see, people who tells you, that they would sacrifice for you, are the people who don't actually mean it. Well, majority of them at least.

Okay. To be frank. People who would sacrifice their life, pride, love for you are the people who will do that without your knowledge. They won't flatter themselves. They won't tell you, they will sacrifice for you. Once they did, then they will. Comprende? So just don't get caught up with people who said they'll sacrifice anything for you. You know, its a lie.

You see, sacrifices happen when theres love interaction.
Not majority, not some. I mean all of it.
Its like long green parallel vein leaves. Black antique classy camera. A diary full of secrets, happiness and depression. A bottle of milk that has blood in it. A tree that has yellow redish flowers growing on its rough dark brown branches.
Sacrifices are suppose to be sincere and honest. The truths that are unbearable leads to sacrifices. Sacrifices are natural. Like the long green leaves, black antique camera and so on.

When somebody loves you too deeply, hopelessly and recklessly,
thats when the most amazing sacrifice happens.
Believe in it. Just don't get caught up in sacrifice lies.

Just because,
Mas

Karma.

Its enough pain you cause me.

Let loose.

Why does sorrow occur?
How can sorrow be cured?
Is there any cure at all?
Which part of me is breaking?
Who can help me through this?
Who can fix me?
Where can I let loose of all this sorrow?

I've been crying everyday.
I've been hurting the wall everyday.
I'm in hell of pain.

I'm turning back, to the old me.
The emotional freak.
Depression that strikes everyday.
That kills me within day by day.


Just because,
Mas

Hazzique. My stranger.

Hey Stranger !
Go and come back. (;
Remember the song you gave me?
I promise you, from Frankie J. (:
Keep that promise, I will too.
This I promise you, I will be there.
and you made me a really tense and sad video but yet amazing.
Saying goodbye, Deborah Cox.
Since I knew that song, and got it from you,
I think I listened to it for atleast 600 times since May.

Hey, we've got a lot of memories since 7th of April.
I know the most about him in 3 days since the 7th.
I know the most thing about him here. Besides Sabah.
Hell yeah, he told me most.

We had our first outing after we knew each other after 3 days.
I call that, naturally true close friends.
And yes, loads of them. I can't list them out as it'll take days.
Yeah, he made me cry a few times. We argue sometimes.
Well, thats typical. But he made me smile and laugh most, too.

Cause eventually summertime turns to fall.
We grow up and we grow apart.
But I keep the memory here inside my heart.
Goodbye to the age of innocent.
I hate that it has to end.
It was fun while we lasted.
But we will never see these days again.
Goodbye is the hardest.
Thing to say out loud.
Hopefully in the future,
Maybe I'll see you around.

- Claude Kelly - Maybe I'll see you around. -
Yeah , we both are fans of him. (:

I'll miss you Hazzique.
Feel my love and affections towards you. aha
I love you, Ziq.

Come back and let's go out.
Text and call to update each other about our life.
In a year, you'll be 18. (x
So, yeah.He is Hazzique, My stranger.
Who shares this blog with me.

Just because,
Mas

struggle.

Hope goes down,  knees on the ground
rain pouring, thunder sounds
wonder how, wonder why
turn to god, still i cry
dry my eyes, then defy
what call lies what call life
it seems by now, myself realise
no more luck, still i try
feel depressed, rethink and sigh
bad day, no one knows
feel invisible, no one cares.
got answers, bump into problems
never look for trouble, trouble finds me
good at math, never solve them
please help me, im about to burst
need fresh air, living a nightmare.
sin too strong, sing through songs
heart might tear, soul might rip.
gotta hold on, losing my grip
take one smoke, take one sip.
theres no hope, clock still tick.
maybe faithless
but if youre in my shoes,
im positive you'll hate it
alone i stand, everything tense
doesnt make sense, only cents.

just because,
me

struggle life reedit.

Ruin / You just don't get it.

My life is amazing. But sorrows fill them too. When problems occur, my life is partly ruined. Its like a tornado stroke a city. My mind is totally packed. I'm listening to everybody's shouting. But why can't I hear my own heart screaming as if theres a hole? This is pain. That gain. I'm becoming insane. I thought I'm just another girl who lives on earth. But I realized, I'm no ordinary human. I went through loads of love challenges. Loads of life challenges. And yet, I'm still alive. 

People attempt to ruin my life. They get excited in breaking me. They just can't leave me alone. I wish, they could just understand. But they couldn't. I know, it sounds absurd. I guess I'm too different and they can't just split. Some of them wants to help, but they don't know how to keep me in one soul. Their words could go right through me. Their thoughts make me feel guilty. Now, I know, its not my fault. Its theirs. They can't tell how much they're making me collapse. They have no idea how this is killing me within. I give up making them understand. As they will never do. My life story, is twisted at the very moment. Please, I had enough. Stop it.

I want you to figure it out. In any way. I can't tell you. You need to prove how much you care. Did you try understanding how much you're hurting me just by saying that? No, you didn't. I just want you to try to figure me out. But you couldn't. You don't want to. When I break, you break me more by doing the same bloody reason why I broke at the first place. I'm trying to make it obvious as it can. Other people can figure it out. Why can't you? This is painful. I'm wondering if our bond is loosened. Cause it seems like it is. We're breaking apart. Can't you see it? Maybe you should try. Maybe I should try. Forget it. You said it. You don't want to go through your goddamn effort to find out. I was writing this, when you said it. So yes, it stabbed me like a knife. I don't know if you want this to be over. I know I don't. I showed you, how I feel without saying a word. Its like, I slammed the door, but it couldn't make a sound. The way that I feel tonight, is like you and me equals to the ocean and the sky. I'm wondering, would this even happen if you hadn't choose me. Don't hate me now. Shout and scream at me. I would smile if thats the only way to talk to you. I don't want to say goodbye. Even saying we're over haven't crossed my mind. Except for now. I'm invincible, yeah its true. Are we broken? Can't we work this out? 

I'm sorry, but I thought you knew, how I am. Yes, I'm sensitive. Yes, I'm fragile. Yes, I'm a realist. And yes, I am who I am. This will happen a lot, you know it. You're pretending like you don't. Come on, somebody like me, don't stay happy for more than a week. Yes, I understand. I seriously do. But do you think when I say, I understand, what you're doing isn't affecting me? Yes, it is. Quite a lot actually/ Why can't you see? You said you fell for my personality. But do you know what is it? You're pretending like you don't. Maybe you seriously do not. I'm not telling you the reason. You don't give a fuck. What can I do? Nothing. I could just cry and suffer in this broken heart. I need help in mending this broken heart. Not making it worst. Yes, I'm already insane. So do what you have to do. Say what you have to say. I'm ready to face whatever your decision is. I'm ready to get crushed all over again. Go ahead. I'm ready. No, I'll just face the most terrible history in my life. I don't want that. But we both know, one day, it maybe will. You just don't get it. I'm sorry. I'm suffering through this shit everyday. I can't pretend and act that good anymore. I have this permanent scar. And you, your name is tattoed to my heart. So why scratch it out slowly? Its painful. It hurts. Too much.

I do, I love you. And its true. Why is this happening? It happens for a reason. I bruise easily. I break easily. Remember that. So, Please.

Just because,

Mas

one month.

Its been a month, sayang.
From 29th of May.
Would you stay longer? 
I wish you will. <3


Just because,
Mas

happy birthday (:

BECAUSE HAPPY BIRTHDAY,

ME.

MAS SYUHAIDAH ROSLI

WAS BORN ON 18TH JUNE 1996.

AND SHE IS OFFICIALLY

FOURTEEN. (x

Just Because,

Mas

Beginning.

" He asked her on the 29th of May. Where everything turns inside out. To a better place. He showed her the ring he bought for himself the day before.Then without the girl knowing, he kneeled down on his knees holding a similar ring. She went "Omg, what are you doing?" He asked her the question. The amazing yet complicating question in every love life. She was like, " Are you serious, Seriously" a billion of times. She paused to think. And then, she asked the boy, " what will happen if I say yes?  " "I'll get hyper." " What if I say no?" "I'll breakdown at the very moment." The girl paused again, thinking. And then she looked at him, and nodded. The boy asked again, whats the answer. She said , Yes, Yes. The look on his face was amazing. As he was happy. He put on the ring on her. He stood up and sat in front of her. She put on his ring on his. So thats where the love story begin. All started the place the girl loves most, Starbucks."

Hey, I'm sorry I'm not perfect. I'm sorry if I hurt you in any way.

I'm sorry I'm fragile. I'm sorry I'm sensitive. I'm sorry I'm a pessimist.

I'm sorry I'm a realist. I'm sorry if you regret falling. I'm Sorry.

Its me who you fell for. So maybe you do know who I am. You accept

who I really am. I appreciate that. Yeah, You fell for me, I caught you.

Thats how the story begin. I love you.

                                                                            Just Because,

                                                                                   Mas

Bloody Hell.

I despise liars.

Owh wait.

Forgive me.

I just know when you're lying. 

Thanks.

I'm an experienced person.

In almost all of this situation.

Comprende?

So yeah. I do know what you said is right or not.

Just because,

Mas

Make.

There's always a reason why,
they didn't make it to our future.
I know who will be there,
but I'm not sure if its forever.

Just because,
Mas

Impurities

Everyone's got impurities .
We all can't be perfect .
Truth is nobody is .
The cause of these are the impurities .
How'd impurities get about ?
It starts when we stop trusting .
Well that's one of them .
Or when we just believe the lies .
Or when someone criticizes us and we live with it .
Seriously ,
We are us .
Not you .

And i'm being pessimistic a bit .
Because I can ,
Andy .

Combination.

I'm the pessimist. I'm the realist. I breakdown unstably.
Forgive me if I hurt you in a way.
Well, my words stab like a knife too. Moreover, I am a pessimist.
I look the negative sides of things. Optimists are the opposite.
There's always a reason why a pessimist, is a pessimist.
Optimists can see it. They just don't know the reason why.

So, there's this guy who would cheer me up when he's suppose to be down.
Literally, he is an optimist. Not an pessimist, like me.
He sees the positive side of things. I'm the opposite.

"Optimists say roses shows love and pride. Pessimists say it dies and has thorns."

That's an example of both sides.

That guy I'm talking about.
That guy I love.
That guy who has been there for me.
That optimist.
He is Andrew.
I am Mas.
He is an optimist. I'm a pessimist and a realist.

Believe it or not, we would be there for each other no matter what.
And we're the opposite of each other.
He said, "opposite attracts"
Do I believe in that? Is it true?
Yeah. I do. Its working. Yeah, I think so too byy.
We're a perfect combination.♥


                                                                            Just because,
                                                                                 Mas

Pretends 2.

Pretend that a pessimist is correct.

Even if there's a reason,

only an optimist can see.

Lets pretend that there's none.

At least,

misunderstanding would decrease.

Just because,

zikness

Pretends.

Lets pretend like its the past
like Im eating cream-o at the cafeteria
I was suppose to be the optimist like he said
But I never gonna make it as depressions lead changes
Lets pretend like I never ever meet these guy
And when I spit jokes everybody go insane
And everybody know my name
And everywhere I have friends
Until one day two asshole appears
Fill my life with depressions and sorrow
Swear that I wont do the same mistake
Lets pretend wrong meaning leads to wrong relationships
Lets pretend wrong relationships lead to break ups
Lets pretend break ups lead to depression
Lets pretend depression leads to changes
Lets use imaginations.

Now lets pretend like this never happened
Like I never been hurt and became emo
Like I didnt write intense deep things known emo
Like I never used to cut my wrist and be emo
Now lets pretend like it was all-good
That I know this one guy that is awesomely special
That I never ever thought that we would be so click
That I always spit my things to him
That I always thought that he understands
Now lets pretend like I aint got a name
Before they ever called me Mas with the surname Rosli
Before all the things above are written
Before I'm hurt by the guy like him
Before I became such pessimist
Before I ever meet the two assholes
Before they ever notice my existence
I guess pretending is the best way

Now lets pretend everything he said is just bullshit
Lets pretend things wouldve been no different
Pretend people procrastinated had no motivation
Pretend he just made excuses that so he's pretending
Pretend he makes no sense just to play the game
Pretend he's just listening and dun understand
Pretend he's my best friend or just not even friend
Why the fuck he pretends and break promises
He wasnt socially awkard and just a weird kid
He had a father and his mother wasnt crazy as shit
He made me believe what Ive been told
Fuck all the dramas and quit with the shits
Youre just full of shits and words dont make sense
You want me to be optimist when facing life shits
It just ain't realistic.
Now pretend that Im really pissed at your bullshits
And theres no way Im gonna trust to the bullshits
And when I'm pissed you got all types of bullshits
You got a hard time explaning cause all of them are bullshits
I regret all this while i trusted your bullshits
Now lets pretend I don't even know you.


                                                               Just because,
                                                                 Unknown*

Thats it.

1. He lied.
2. He broke his promises.
3. He changed into a jerk.

I told Sam,

" I don't want to say this, but..

I want the old him back."

I told her..the whole story.

Sad, Complicating, Frustrating, Depressing.

But yet,

it used to be,

Sweet, Ecstatic, Romantic, Amazing.

Yeah, it's sad to see somebody who used to be the one

in your life changed into a jerk and talks about you behind your back.

This is so Sad.

Just because,

Mas

Look.

I might be over-rated.

Maybe not.

Have I fallen in love with anybody?

Good friends, best friends, someone new.

Hell no. Precautions are needed. 

A girl who falls for anybody?

Thats not me. Maybe used to be.

It doesn't matter as long I'm supported,

by people who love me for who I am.

------------------------------------------------

There's this guy who,

literally look emotional.

Maybe possible he has a memory loss in remembering stuff.

Blur case, i told him.

He doesn't give a damn about small problems.

He doesn't pick sides if there are any arguements.

Yeah, those are his style. 

I like the way he gives the "look" when 

he sees somebody as a greeting.

I told him, it was seducing. And hell yeah, it is.

Who is he? 

Yeah, my current fiancee. aha

He is, Sean Tan Xiao Han.♥




Just because,
Mas

Jon.

I’ve got words I’d like you to hear, words that may sound unclear, words that I truly feel, words that somehow may heal. Though it’s not a big deal, I miss you and it’s for real.

This is what he randomly sent me.

Then he got to go off. 

Yeah, I miss you too 

Jonathan Quah. 

Just because,

Mas

Day.

How does a life works?
What does it have?
What would happen to
people who have a life?
For short,
everybody has a life.
What happen to them everyday?

Theres billions of people on earth.
And yet, all of us only know 3 percent maximum
of the people live on earth.
Everyday,
something will happen to all of us
in the same day.
Some, at the same time.
When it comes to judgement day.
it would be the same.

"Life Offers Daily Crap."

Something bad I suppose?
Yeah.
Its true. I know.
Life is so unpredictable.
But we all know some stuff happen, everyday.
We just don't know what will.


Inspiration by,
Ryan Lee.♥




Just because,
Mas

It.

Take note.

I'm a pessimist.

I might break you.

Not all the time. Just certain.

I learnt my lesson. Thats why.

I'm realistic. Pessimistic is the right word, they said.

I could be optimistic. too.

Just because,

Mas

Vein.

You're in my brain.
It feels like a needle in my vein.
This needle in my vein
is making pain.

Why am I in this again?
I shouldn't be.
I tried to quit.
I got to get it out of my brain.
I'm no good.
Something keeps holding me back.
Holding me back.


Just because,
Mas

Mi Manchi

Why am I doing this?

aha. I know. Its dumb.

What can I do,

when I see you looking at me.

Especially when we both do.

By accident.

Comprende?

It hurts to know

that you and I

used to be it.

It hurts to know

that you and I

are now, nothing.

I still have no answers to my questions.

I still have doubts.

Curiousity is still spinning in my mind.

Why did you have to do such things?

To me.

I moved on and leave yours alone,

atleast.

All I have to say and think about what has past is,

Te Extrano. Mi Manchi.

That is it. I do not talk pain about you.

Until you did. Atleast.

I clearly said,

that you were a mistake.

A huge one.

But I take it back.

Know why?

Because even if i do say you were a mistake,

nothing will happen or change anything back.

I regretted, I took it back.

Nothing will change if i said those words.

NOTHING.

I miss the old you. fullstop.

Just because,

Mas